Superfoods

Despite what the label may lead you to believe, superfoods do not wear capes or give you magical powers (such a disappointment). Superfoods are simply highly nutritious foods that are therefore good for your health.

How Superfoods Get Their Powers

1. Identify a specific highly nutritious food.

  • Ideally you want one that is notably high in something that has a health buzz to it like omega-3s or antioxidants.
  • You want something that is high in nutrients that the average person is deficient in.
  • Look for something that is foreign and exotic (or at least sounds that way).
  • For maximum results, find a food that was grown in the local environment of ancient civilizations that rich white liberals associate with having special spiritual knowledge so you can say that culture recognized the food for its “healing properties”. (Those healing properties had nothing to do with simply fulfilling nutritional needs/ not being toxic and therefore making people healthy).

2. Find scientific research that finds an association between eating that food and having indicators of being healthy.

  • Helping people lose weight is a plus.
  • Ignore all biases in research.
  • Hyperbolize results.

3. Get that food media coverage about how awesome and beneficial it is. 

  • You don’t want to do it through conventional advertisements. Do it through getting biased research sensationalized attention, making documentaries about how bad the American diet is and how awesome your food is.
  • Get popular health people in the media such as Dr. Oz to give it a thumbs up.
  • Make it all about that specific food, not the diet as a whole and simply fulfilling nutritional needs.
  • Make sure people know that eating that food will solve all their problems in life and probably save the world.
  • Portray the pharmaceutical industry, fast food, anything Americans commonly eat and the processed food industry as The Big Bad Wolf that is making them sick and stupid.
  • Turn your food into a movement. This is about more than just food. It’s a lifestyle. It is a part of who you are.

4. Give it some flair by adding adjectives or occasionally a random ingredient to it.

  • This is necessary so people perceive it as different than the generic version or similar standard foods a few aisles down with a nearly identical nutritional profile.
  • You want to use adjectives that people will associate with being natural, wholesome and exotic. The best part is you don’t have to actually do anything different. Just describe it differently.
  • You might want to add an extra fancy sounding ingredient or two that has a buzz around it.

5. Quadruple the price. 

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